Conditional love

I’m really really tired and fed up of this conditional love. Most of all I’m just done being hurt and broken because of this conditional love. Family, friends & just everyone else pay attention to me only and only if I deliver what they want from me. If not I’m just a flawed piece of trash that they don’t have time for. And it hurts so so so much.

I just want to be loved unconditionally for once where there’s no expectations from me to do or be something or someone in particular and where I just can be myself. Every single time I don’t do what people expect of me, it’s always lead to being ignored, regardless of whether it was parents, sibling, cousins, friends etc. Why is love so very conditional? Just why?

Is it too much to ask for a bit of unconditional love? Is it too much to just ask for someone to love me for who I am? Is it too much to ask someone to love me through both my highs & lows & not just through my highs? Is it too much to ask someone to make me a priority and not their last option? Am I asking for too much in life? Is that what the problem here is? Is that what is wrong here? Am I the one in the wrong here or am I being wronged? I don’t know. All I know is that it hurts so much. And I want this pain to stop.

Do I deserve all this sorrow? Honestly, I don’t think so. I’m not asking for the world to change overnight. I’m just asking one individual to love me for who I am, to love me unconditionally and to make me a priority. Now that I’ve put it that way maybe I am asking for too much. But if I can do this for other humans why can’t someone do that for me? I don’t know. And it all just hurts so damn much.

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